ARTICLE 3 - OF DRP AND SELF

03 April 2009

I went for another round of DRP this morning and I tried mixing Flaxseed oil which my friend UMI said was good for Blood pressure. You know the saying, “When the going gets desperate, the man will try anything that looks like a remedy.”DRP time is best for deep and quiet reflection. In fact for a while this morning as I lay there feeling the coffee mixture flowing into my intestines, I thought that it might also be appropriate to call DRP “Deep Reflection of Personal thoughts.”

Having an alien article stuck into my most vulnerable part is quite a “humbling” experience and as I lay there, I thought about how inflated our egos and our own selfish interests usually are. I look at the way people react and decide on things and I see “self” written all over their actions. I look at the many troubles all around us and see how selfish and self-righteous we all are. I see the source of many of our problems and they all point to the same thing – self! I am sure we will feel such feelings all fading away when we find ourselves lying down in the DRP program in a position of weakness with a tube stuck right into our ‘anus’.

As I lay there this morning, I thought back to the many situational problems that had arisen in the past. Not so long ago there was a corporate problem that I was involved in. The General Manager of the corporation saw everyone else at fault and pointed her finger at everyone else. Later I met the owner of the company and she too blamed everyone else including the General Manager. All they saw was their own “right”. How sad!

Recently also, I had the chance to listen to the contentions of two different parties in a family talking of their own views and positions. All I saw was an easily ‘resolvable’ situation that could not be resolved because of the barriers of pride and stubborn insistence of views and positions. Love and forgiveness could have so easily been keys to restoration and reconciliation but they were sadly shut off…How sad!

Again, I saw so clearly in my mind this young girl who had worked for me when she was only 18. Her parents had divorced and she was angry because she had this deep longing for a ‘complete’ set of parents. She lacked a father’s love and she blamed her mother for the problems in her life. She was always fighting with her mother having been brought up by her Grandmother. There was bitter acrimony and it brought deep resentment and anger. It could have been resolved if one of them had subordinated her feelings of betrayal and selfish justification. It was all so easy for someone outside looking in. But it was not to be. On a trip out to a remote Interior town, her mother crashed her car and died shortly afterwards.

The young girl was devastated – wracked by guilt and a longing for restitution that could never be met again. To this day, when she goes back to her mother’s grave, she would plead for forgiveness and restoration in a cry that would bear no answer. WHY IS IT THAT WE MUST LEAVE ISSUES UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE MOVED BY SELFISH MOVES AND SELF-CENTEREDNESS?

I was really sad over what I had heard the night before – that two sisters I know so well had quarreled badly with each other. It pained me to see two persons who really love each other falling into a bad fight because matters were left to deteriorate until self took over. A little more of love, a little more of understanding and a little more of forgiveness would have gone a long way. Now it will leave a bad taste in both of their mouths and the anger and seething injustice will cast long scars in their hearts. I wish they will try DRP sometimes and think more clearly lying on the floor in a position of humility.

I was fortified in my mind determined to make a small move for the right values. As I moved to clean up after my DRP, I went up to my wife who had caused the toilet bowl in one of the bathrooms to be clogged up. Usually, I would not be able to resist some really sarcastic and caustic comments on her seeming stupidity in dropping her spectacles into the toilet bowl. Realizing that somehow I must change, I went up to her and asked her to forgive me for the many times that I had just picked on her for mistakes that were inadvertent. She looked at me with a relief that made me feel so good. I left for the office knowing that I must aspire to be more generous and more selfless so that I can bring blessings to those around me. Perhaps others will be persuaded to love more and forgive more.

Ong Hock Siew